Thursday, December 11, 2003
Butch gotta penthouse
Karl Jung believed one marker of successful therapy is the uniting and acceptance of male and female identities within the patient. Something tells me he would not go the site BigMuscleBears. He wouldn’t buy it at all.
I’ve always had trouble with very effeminate men. They threaten me. I’m embarrassed to be around them. I worry that their lisps and flouncy walks will rub off on me. I have witnessed friends, over many years , transform themselves from beret- and jewelry-wearing fags to tough musclebound men who happen to be gay. I’ve also hated that part of myself – the part that hates and fears the effeminate-fag stereotype.
Then there are the guys who have no idea how “nelly” they really are. We look at them and wince. “If they don’t realize how outwardly gay they appear, how self-aware can I be?”
Well, the best defense against appearing gay is to do manly things. Have manly hobbies. Live in a manly shack. Speak in grunts and monosyllables and, for Chrissakes, keep your feelings to yourselves. Be cool and together. Hysteria is the mark of the evil she-beast.
I think it’s great that, on the surface, we 21st-century homos come in so many forms. Drag queens to leathermen to... what does one call this new breed of macho-obsessed blockheads?
Take a look at BigMuscleBears. Notice how proud so many members are that they drink beer and watch football (almost always both activities are listed together). Notice the grease-covered overalls, the retro cars with hoods popped. Not into cars or football? How about extreme hiking or hunting? Maybe you’re into construction, but you rarely find anyone describing themselves as a renovator, or, heaven forbid, a decorator! Expressiveness is seen as “drama” and intelligence is seen as “game-playing.” (The feeling, dramatic, expressive, articulate sorts – they’re shunned more than anyone.) “No GAMES and no DRAMA” the new butches insist. This sort of thing frightens them terribly.
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is actually behind the times. Straight men should be hiring fags to dig ditches and tune up their hot rods.
